oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
