Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
