I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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