Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
