Sponge bath it is.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's rum buckets o'clock
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
