You smell like a Billy Joel song
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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