so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
