I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Randomize
