She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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