she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
