why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
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