Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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