I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
