Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
