Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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