after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
