I bet he comes in French.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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