hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
