Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
