Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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