thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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