You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Where is the hickey?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
