I wish my penis had an off switch
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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