where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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