If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
