I think scott just propositioned me for sex
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
