dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
