He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
