I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
