Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
