where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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