Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
