I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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