yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
