Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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