I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
