I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Pooping to opera.
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