I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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