All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
