i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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