we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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