I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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