idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
