Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
