Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
