Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
should my penis look like a turkey
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
