Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
did i walk over a car last night?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
