Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
