you guys were way drunker than both of me
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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