its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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