he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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