gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
